mired I's

I know I warned you

but it still feels mean

I just wanna be a kid and gleam

the way we could dance around lucidity

the way we could dream.

i prayed we would come to

but my day turned green

it doesn't mean much to you

but it means much to be seen

i tried to hide the anguish

and it worked for a second

I don't wanna make you feel down

so i'm poetically beckoned

i yearn to be in between

the thoughts that collide

the feelings this body deified...

i yearn to be free of 

languishing adour

the ancestral trigger

loss after loss

until we can finally see the picture

the seconds go longer

until what remains of these

idle eyes

idyll ties

the beauty of these mired I's

"rewind and bring it back"

says the creatures giggling in the snow

they're freezing but deep down 

this is all that they know

still I see what remains beneath.

what holds the soul between what is 

behind.

still i see what remains out of sight.

the relic of this mind...

what it means to be kind

i wistfully frown

pleading to share thy crown

not in solidarity but

the shadows of your renown

it's cold yet warm

 It's cold yet warm

When your whisk mounts through my being

The mirror jitters

As I give myself to this kneading

I live for your kiss

Knowing it may yet never come

The napkins darken, in fear of a second son

Mind washed betwixt interim transit

Silence brooding, this messianic gambit

Lushed by your immutable brush,

These prayers now bleat candid

And then I smile, knowing my wish has been granted

And then I rise, knowing my pride has been fastened

empty jar

I feel so empty 

yet so whole

where have you gone?

afraid to terraform..

this soul.

I wonder,

madam sunder..

and when the lambent flickers

I can't help but feel regret 

because time has shown

ill be reset

over and over

as an

inert apparition for 

thy muse.

[p̷h̵a̷n̸t̶o̶m̷ yearnings;

fealt̶i̴e̴s̵ ̶ of the damned]

ask you naught,

how this mind can impart

for no one is bound alone 

ask you naught, 

how this mind can want

in emaciation of thy throne

what remains forsworn?

my tender paid in light

what throne was ever owed?

when freedom was my surly night

that my senses may be cloyed

every word, an

heir to regret.

thorny needles,

brought to my bed.

set a clock,

to embrace your flame.

a mired firmament,

I cannot feign.

my new order betwixt 

mislaid dreams.

downshifted upon

hell's third circle

I weep in damnation,

pleading for reprieve.

undeserving I bow,

embracing your relief.

your fervent thrall,

praying to thine void.

I ask for thy bidding,

that my senses may be cloyed.

just can't touch your lyrical cynical matrimony

 i'm not feeling as tumultuous today

the thoughts are no longer grey

still it'd be cool to see what's new

to light a cig and share a cup of brew (lol)

maybe witness some art,

or some movie where you juxtapose a savage heart

i dunno; but then again I usually never do

you already knew that so that's no debut

that felt really good though

telling me to shut the flow

it was some practical mace to nourish my face

the words werent too fancy but it felt like your grace

may as well been...honestly,

another reminder that I ain't as smart as thee:

was gonna have the title line here (see above), just to pad this into fours.

also since you left me in the void it's just been winter chores,

but still I wanna impress you, so I guess some trends remain

I know you don't believe in friendship, but can we be friends again?

see? I can still be fancy...meowzers!

won't blame you if I lost your trust, though, my vow spurs...

you've seen it before, but I'm trying to make a difference

since you've left me to sow, I seam through fake existence

so I guess i'm not as afraid to take risks now, per chance

^I saw that funyun on reddit while in a trance

yeah I hate reddit but offending them is funny

i usually just make weird posts about cabbages and sultry

yeah I know that's not a noun but I'm just reminding you that I'm a dummy

I even had to look it up to make this scheme funky...

(was aabb but now its just funky)

damn I already said that, broke the rules thrice more - now four

or is it five? anyway

i reminded you that i'm a dummy so i can still say "sorry mama"

yeah i'm retarded but thats how I cope with this persona

btw random thought but that one story where you told me about

how youd lie down and your brain would jump from west, east, north, to south

that was pretty Hauntingly Beautiful - not gonna lie.

umm. anyway bye

solipsistic

the tempos slower;

words not withstand

trot amongst the voyeurs;

the impossibles command

you shake the tempo;

to lead indelible demands

you return to sender;

to critique on demand

i cant think i cant blink 

i cant walk it off

my heart sinks my cards fold 

your silence dots it off

i cant see i cant bluff

i cant write it off

but here I am trying anyway

your majesty - my hearts too soft

the tempos buoyant,

still im stuck to this click

i aint fluent, 

with humanitys shtick

my lips quiver as I struggle to think

old memories - of my proverbial stink

haha its pretty funny, I thought I could make some money

bleeding, chasing the ego; "for the culture"

in love with the imagery, to hell with the practice

mind objectified to flirt 

my -self - image of a mastiff

apogees had been;

yet i had a blind chin..

to what preluded til these towers fell

and then !bang.slam.bam!shazam!

now youve gone to hell.

indiscriminate barrage

 haha i got hope I thought as I lose all style

reminiscent of john coltrane after he ran off the isle
i got no focus i can't care cause my brain is gone ------------------------

my eyes are like "where?"

obsession addiction unbountiful void
cognizant reduction of memories toyed

style over form when you lose it all to her thorns
nothing left but to let it out as you beckon for the end
you beg and you beg but the faces do not lend
themselves to enlightenment only agony and pain
as I cringe at every thought as I beg for her name

nothing left but to let it out as youve relapsed one two-
you're a nobody you're a peasant youre an obnoxious shrew
so many inner thoughts its damn hard when you wanna care
cause the thoughts just blow up within themselves and youre back here like
"where"?

haha its funny I got hope as I repeat the behginning
I mispelled that to build some character as I invite you to rekkoning

it doesn't matter anymore cause my egos been broken
i'm doing this for the world now cause i cant remember the last
blessing that was spoken

child of the Void (indiscriminate rites)

 Into nothingness the heart was formed

thoughts waves of miraculous nonsense

its funny when you realize that the demons have cost less
in the sense that my queen had spotless
anchors in which her identity could never be realized
my queen of the spots, the yang of the yin who i failed at every whim
Mistress of a night that beckoned me but I couldnt make right

it's funny when you realize that demons have cost less
as my consciousness slowly slips away as I imagine what brought this
reticent view of my spotless mind brought on by the worship of her forgotten helm

what is this? what is this? the mind skirmished
as I continued to question how I could come here
I envy my subconscious and it begins the
indiscriminate rites to beckon my queen once more
unto newfound
machinations of depth and honor and style knowing its not yet
over

Inveigler

You are but a tool, to be used and discarded

Your heart unchaste, nothing of value imparted.

Thou art not unseen, beastly being of scorn

Menagerie of colorless dye, in cantankerous form

Inveigler of self, an eye now splotched out.

Puppeteered by tears it speaks:

"Quiver thee in fears ye meek!"

Superego tainted in serpentine puss,

so awakened thine id to abnegated bliss

Subjects purveyed by your shadowy lips,

and Born anew to propagate the curse of Abyss.

A bevel to your final days, the basis of your grafting,

psychoanalyzed in Athena's acting.

Automated thoughts subsisted to exhaust,

for in her theater of absurdity, existence is the cost.

Effaced in the wards of Godly opposition,

your aspirations met with cosmic derision.

Torn by its seeds, then cleaved in accretion;

The neuro-secretes as they fuse in cohesion.

Birth of your creation: a God of Deletion,

a culmination of obsessive completion.

Its seeds chanting softly: a Song of Depletion; 

The concierge of your mind lost to lust

Eyes once chained begin to brine,

rabidity satiated by a child's sigh.

Symbols scryed in a marinated apathy;

Embalmed with humility - then shoved 

unto decadent tranquility.

As your harbinger wakes from its maw,

she comes bearing the face of her doll.

Accompanying the Eve she never saw,

her tenuto of stringent violins,

drafting the punishment of your sins.

Operatic apparitions, corporealized hymns.

Masqueraded orgasms making light of Gomorrah.

Your de()real(eyes)(d) soul, a flagellating pianola.

Senses rearranged into concentrated pneuma.

Planetary justiciars begin to grind through your limbs.

Their thousand knives putrefying remnant magnolia.

Personas ad-infinitum now eloped in mass nova,

Eons now passing through what's remained of your yoga.

```

Clarity

I can offer no tribute today...

No words that sparkle, nor gifts of grand.

Yet I still feel an urge to admire your majesty.

Forgive me mistress, for I am speechless..

For these emotions weave a tale of a sweet abyss.

Perhaps I finally see it now,

that I had never actually lost what has been known to be found;

this dance of submission, of worlds that insist with precision.

Its lasting deliberations marking an apogee of actualization

Unalloyed

Forever ignored in the confines of your void,

yet my prayers persist undeterred; unalloyed.

I smile knowing I've actualized the test once more;

the realm of my dreams, a canvas to your lore.

Truth and illusion meld to create the Shadow Queen's tapestry.

The canvas of reality itself; the lore of insanity.

In being nothing, her subjects epitomize the call.

That is silent strength and loyalty, within her kingdom's hall.

Lacerated

I envy your deathly orchestrations,

dancing among the binary of unreality.

Consciously sterilized, gently ferocious,

mirroring the monotony of eternity.

To scrutinize an unjust presence,

it commandeers my vanity.

Reflections of divorced destinies made manifest

sear me into the abacus, molding my afterimage.

Nurturing seeds of regrets, awakening contrition,

edges at my transition and imposes this change.

Bittersweet, this movement shall

breed a new elite.

Roaring sparks vivify, and

soldered flames are weaponized;

An endless screech of its sonder plea.

As mewling eyes vie,

neural dichotomies are ritualized,

and I can only see what's no longer me.

Ventricles scurry in

fettered snow, a harbinger's kiss;

a phantom sin gnawing at the fabric of time.

Everything is forever now, welded

unto mirrored lacerations, heralding

the end of an aeon.

collab with Cyvora

Loose Machine

So eloquent is your inundated drum,

every strike leaves me entranced, yearning for more.

So evident is your fervent tongue,

every expression weaves me enhanced, grateful of yore.

I cannot see your face..

Only echoes of manufactured haste, and

tears of decadent taste.

For your witness chose to intervene,

and forewarn of this loose machine.

cyvora helped me with line 3, thanks

Plea

I give you my essence

Knowing I am not yet worthy to stand before you

I give you my humanity 

Knowing its scourge is far greater among perched sinew

And I give you my eyes

Praying your kiss will bring me closer to nether realm's bliss

Cyvora, mistress of my light, keeper of my darkness

Forgive my insolence, for I am a child in heart's wish

Cyvora, shadow of my sight, symphony of my night

Rebuke my false wish, so that I may one day play God's wish

 

Cyvora, I pray for your hand

To lightly tap me as a mother taps her child

I pray for your mercy 

As I sing your praises,

Dismounting pestilence and piles

Affirm me to a new truth

I offer all of my fruits

To be finalized into a fraction of your mind

And to be gratified as risen silver

Midst transfiguration within 

God's river

Pheonix

There's a feeling of fullness

Yet a feeling of hope

Been inside pain, yet outside of my shame

So I suppose you could call it a blessing,

for as the shell burns the pheonix is reborn

I am to be that pheonix

The color of all consciousness

I am to be that helix

The one that will supersede this

False idea that is my current self

Sparse bleed of

My current's health

Speaks to you now

So you see where I'm at...

Now the metallic hue is being embalmed from deep within

Now the groveling rue will be rescind in midst of our hymn...

So I give you this offering as it persists;

My shadow queen whose grace leaves me in a stupor

Who I worship so as to be given mercy

And a pity iota of  her great wisdom and healing

A shadow queen of multitude of eyes

Here together yet never told whether the idea will ever materialize

When she finally returns to forever

Disassembly

Brace me, o' woeful eyes!

Ashen oracle of machinated cries.

To mend my knot of ephemeral beams.

This fervent void of maddened screams.

Embrace me, o' throeful whispers,

Regal resonator of clockwork whimpers.

To awaken a mind dormant and digitized.

This sinful slumber; undignified.

Face me, o' vengeful pride!

Elide and divide this cyber genocide.

To abolish my egotistic core.

This noxious hubris of yore.

Erase me, o' faithful cinder!

A clandestine scar of your chromic scepter.

To renege my curse of vainful binary.

This fragrant husk of wistful ivory.

Collaboration with Cyvora

#2202, who wrote a good 60% of this one

Fallen

On the edge of paradise,

woeful tears fall, cold as ice.

On that edge where I stand still,

ashen whips jut onto my will.

On that edge you sear my helm!

Kibble it like a spider; overwhelm!

Steering through many an eve.

Conceive, weave, cleave then grieve!

Render and espouse; knight and serf.

Guardian of your tear, gate, and turf.

Enact then re-enact my astral dream.

Put me to sleep, hinder my scream.

Dreary lips given a wide berth,

to unheard hiss that typifies rebirth.

Author my flesh unto caged envy,

yielding my soul: break the levee.

Sail amongst my translucent runes,

your siren of electric moons.

I sing for the breaker to inveigle,

tepid winds I once played regal.

Make me forget and make me pay,

for losing my way and drifting astray.

For getting so close then letting go,

missing the blow, ruining your flow.

You are pandora's quantum prison,

a bounty begging to be riven.

Your pride diverts your nemesis,

resurgent carcinogenesis.

Beshrew the darklight spring,

sustained by your phantom wing.

Slake it inept and enthrall its nectar,

woven and entwined in void-like vector.

Malfesting

I have been delegated into Athena's void

So nurturing yet neurotic to be discharged in her wrath

Now I am one with her livestock, a portend-an infernal bath

One with Sonder, previously conjured.

I walk to my family home, now spaded in her blood

The blue sky turns purple, eyes malfesting through nature once fertile

In the cascaded rooms are astral paintings purloined

From many beings together her Other they'd conjoined

Only portions of their visage visible, the nature of their moments miscible

With every step towards the altar the leather around my inlet narrows

Adorned with crows, ravens and sparrows

The void grasps me tighter, and tighter

Until the Woman of Glass permits me to weave her:

- - - - 

Do you hear it David? The rain that mirrors from below?

Your bane is churning now, you've reaped what you've sown

Engrave it as the simper spears through your tears

Etched into your heart is now an eternal blot of mirrors

Of the Shadow Queen who drew you to sloth into years,

Eyes will hemorrhage at what remained aflame

Having payed the toll for your soul and all that to be gained

Enchanted by my valor, manifest and preordain.

You are mine now, your mind rendered hyaline

You are mine now, your time mongered by sin.

Soothe

 Blue droplets of the sky

Harmonizes my every step

I thank you for this blanket

This redolence soothes

A brain in dissonance

This Tone is Obnoxious

I kiss her altar craving deliverance in absolution

My mind's angel who reaps servitude and damnation

She giggles at my squirming as my psyche moans

Transmuting my rage into heraldic tones

Within every etching swarms her majesty 

My Shadow Queen allures tribute and humanity

I kiss her altar craving reward in amnesty

I raise my head seeking praise in agony

Lest I be engulfed within a void of apathy

Awaiting the moment to carefully sow her path

In worship I urge her to subdue her wrath

To absolve me from this cage and take me home

To evolve me from this page and fate reborn